We live in the countryside of Polop and our neighbors are not close. Though we know them all. One of my neighbors has become a close friend, we have contact on a regular basis and when she organizes an event she always invites us. The events she organizes are always for the citizens from Polop, which will take place mostly in the village. More and more we recognise people and they recognise us. Next to organizing those events, she also likes to connect people. Seems a perfect combination for me. 

Language is the primary one, I prepared that a long time ago. During my childhood, always hearing my mother and her twin sister talking Spanish made it obvious for me to learn this language as soon as possible. The familiar sounds I heard for such a long time and my knowledge of Latin at school made it easier to learn this beautiful language. But as long as you try and aren’t afraid of making mistakes the Spanish people really like it, it opens the doors to the hearts and emotions of these people. 

So for us, speaking Castellano is the first requirement. Here you don’t call it Spanish but Castellano. One step further for me will be to know how to speak Valenciana, the language specific for this area (Comunitat Valenciana). Please note that Valenciana is not a dialect, it is an official language. I can already translate it, when hearing or reading it, but it will take some time before I will be able to speak it. My neighbor Pepa thinks that I will be able to speak Valenciana very soon. Let’s wait and see haha. 

We think that next to language, as part of the culture, it is very important to adjust to the lifestyle of the inhabitants to integrate to the fullest. That is why we, following local custom, also have 5 eating moments during the day. Though it might seem pretty logical to think that when moving into a country, you will make an effort to integrate, but most people do not. Most ‘foreigners’ here (read: people from the Netherlands, Great Britain, Germany and Scandinavia) live their lives at their home country standards. Most people live the life they used to live, but just under the Spanish sun. With social contacts with their fellow countrymen only. This looks far easier than making an effort to integrate. But the result is a poorer life with hardly any social interaction with the local people. 

Therefore, prior to moving to Spain, we decided to make an effort in everything to fully integrate into the local Spanish community. And we did. Successfully.

For example, five eating moments during the day at certain moments is part of the Spanish lifestyle. When you do this, you make it easier for yourself to understand the local people. And we got invited into their world. Because they know that we enjoy their culture, they make us part of it. It started two years ago when I talked with my neighbor about the ‘association de amas de casa’, which had a special room in a governmental building in the village. It caught my attention and since I myself also have been a proud housewife my whole life, I wanted to know more about that. Vicente told me that his wife Pepa is the president of the association and from that moment things went quickly and my membership has resulted in a lot of nice gatherings with the Polopian people. 

Some weeks ago we had the celebration of San Juan, the 23rd of June. More than 300 people, while eating and drinking together in the center of the village, celebrated the start of the Summer. We had a meal, called the ‘cena’ together, around 8-8.30 p.m. There is a thing about the meals I do need to be honest about, because most of the time we skip the cena moment. This is because we do not like to eat late at night. Our main meal is ‘comida’ (2-4 pm). After that we still get plenty of activity and exercise to burn and keep ourselves in good shape. But we happily make an exception for an event such as San Juan.

Remembering 2 years ago, the first time harvesting our grapes for wine, was such a moment of not completely understanding the Spanish culture. We nervously waited all day for our Spanish friends to come and help us and finally around 4.30 p.m. they arrived. And they brought more friends and family to do the work. And they did. Now we know better and can adjust ourselves to the habits of the Spanish. They cherish their eating moments and won’t have themselves interrupted by nothing at all. Of course this could be different in the cities, where office people just like people in Northern Europe disturb the holiness of the meal by having such silly events as ‘working lunches’.

To give you an idea where integration will not work for us, this would be in lovely Morocco, we love the country, the nature and the people, but I would never agree with how women should be dressed. And that there is a non-spoken inequality outside the houses. Inside, in people’s homes men and women are pretty equal. Women do not enter tea houses (read: ‘bars’) on their own and rarely at all. Bath houses (read: ‘wellness center’) are strictly separate. So, to live in a country we need to meet in any case equality for men and women. In Spain you can definitely find this. Sometimes you even feel that men feel kind of intimidated by women, they can act as real bosses 🙂

A good example of integration nearby is us having four new chickens and putting them with the other 5 chickens and the rooster. We are now on day 3 of having them together and integration seems as hard as it is with humans. The old ones prevent the new ones from joining in the eating and drinking. They really chase them and scare them off. On the other hand, the new ones exclude themselves by searching other places and being afraid of their own species. Of course it is a big change for the old ones, because they need to share their space, food and everything. During the night there is some peace but the next morning the disturbance will start again. We know for sure that in a few weeks time the balance will be restored and they will go well together. But at this moment integration lacks. 

It is remarkable that a lot of Spanish people around us know a lot about nature, the nutritional value of vegetables, how to prepare food, old traditions of the value of nutrients and so forth. This is also a big inspiration for us. For the choice we made, having a life with more well being and more connected to nature, we chose the right thing.

I think next time I will tell you about the beautiful meat we can buy here and prepare. Not from our land, but from suppliers who also work in a healthy and conscious way.

Warm regards,

Mónica